Finding Your Reader’s Pain Point: Insights from Amy Simon

This post was adapted from Writing Off Social: The Podcast, Episode 78. You can listen in here!

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship with social media could best be summed up as a frustrated sigh, you’re not alone. When we (Sandy and Mary K.) sat down with writer, podcaster, and writing coach Amy Simon, that’s exactly how she described hers.

“I have always been a Facebook girl,” Amy laughed. “Probably as a consumer more than I should be. I actually just deleted it off my phone because I was like, ‘What am I even doing on here?’”

Her honesty made us nod in instant recognition. We’ve all been there—the cycle of deleting, returning, planning a new strategy, and then realizing it isn’t working. But Amy’s story didn’t stop there. Instead, she’s found a way to build meaningful connections with her readers that don’t rely on the constant hustle of social media. And that’s what we wanted to talk about.

Because whether you’re writing with or without social media, understanding who your reader is and what she needs is absolutely foundational.

The Overlap Between Calling and Reader

Amy Simon is the host of The Purposeful Pen Podcast, a show for Christian writers who want to create a writing life with eternal impact. Her work explores the beautiful intersection between faith, spiritual formation, and writing craft.

When Amy first began shifting from writing magazine articles to building her own platform, she joined a writing community that introduced her to a new concept: writing for a specific person.

“It was a completely new idea to me,” she said. “I started asking, ‘Where is the overlap between who I am—my gifts, passions, and life experiences—and what someone else needs?’ That process was fascinating.”

Eventually, Amy realized she loved helping other writers find that overlap, too. “Part of who I am,” she explained, “is that I love helping people figure out where they fit—how God made them and what they have to offer someone specific.”

The Most Common Mistake Writers Make

When we asked Amy what challenge she sees most often among writers trying to identify their readers, her answer came quickly:

“They’re too broad,” she said. “As Christians, we don’t want to leave anybody out. We want to say, ‘I write for everyone!’ But no, you don’t. Even if your message is something everyone could benefit from—like growing closer to Jesus or living a healthier life—that’s still not your reader. Your reader is the person who realizes they need that and wants to go deeper.”

This desire to reach everyone often dilutes our writing. It keeps us from speaking directly to the one person who is waiting for the words God’s given us.

Understanding Your Reader’s Pain Point

So how do we figure out who that person is? According to Amy, it starts by identifying her pain point.

“The pain point,” she explained, “is the thing that’s going to drive your reader to look for a solution.”

She compared it to having recurring headaches: “Eventually, the pain gets bad enough that you decide to go to the doctor. The headache is the pain point—it’s what drives you to seek help. The doctor might find the cause is dehydration or a bad night’s sleep, but you wouldn’t have gone looking for help if you didn’t have that pain.”

In writing terms, your reader’s pain point is the emotional or practical frustration that keeps her up at night—the thing she’s searching Google for, the reason she picks up a book or hits “play” on your podcast.

How to Discover What Hurts

The best way to learn your reader’s pain point? Talk to her.

“Get to know your reader in person if you can,” Amy advised. “If you write for young moms, take one out for coffee. Say, ‘I want to come alongside women like you—can I ask you a few questions?’ Be a good listener. Record the conversation if possible and listen for what she says frustrates her most.”

If you don’t have access to your audience in person, Amy suggests connecting online. “Hop on Zoom with a few people in your target audience. Ask what they’re struggling with and listen carefully to the words they use.”

And yes—even artificial intelligence can help.

Amy shared how she’s used ChatGPT’s Deep Research feature to uncover what writers are asking in forums and online spaces. “You can ask it to look for the questions people are asking about your topic,” she said. “It takes a few minutes, but it will come back with patterns—what people are struggling with, what’s confusing them, what they’re looking for.”

For Amy, the results were eye-opening. “I discovered that while I love talking about identifying your reader and message, most writers don’t realize that’s their real problem. Their pain point is, ‘Why can’t I write my book?’ So I have to start there—with what they feel—and then guide them to what they actually need.”

Felt Needs vs. Real Needs

This distinction—between a felt need and a real need—is one of the most powerful tools a writer can understand.

“Sometimes they’re the same,” Amy explained. “If you’re writing for young moms who want to exercise more, that’s both the pain point and the real need. But sometimes they’re different. The pain point might be the headache, but the real need is more water.”

She gave the example of a lawyer who writes for authors about legal issues. “Her readers were obsessed with copyright questions,” Amy said, “but she knew that wasn’t really what they should worry about. If she ignored their questions, though, they wouldn’t listen. So she started by addressing their felt need—copyright—and then led them to the real need—understanding other, more important legal issues.”

Sandy summed it up using an analogy she often shares with her coaching clients: “It’s like the difference between vitamins and painkillers. People come to you asking for a pain pill, but what they actually need is vitamins. Addressing their pain gets them in the door so you can give them what they truly need.”

Why Choosing a Specific Reader Matters

Once you understand your reader’s pain, Amy said, it’s important to get specific—sometimes painfully so.

“You might have to choose between two types of readers,” she said. “Maybe one is a mom who hasn’t exercised in years and everything hurts. The other is a mom who’s active but can’t find the time. Those are two completely different problems and need two different solutions.”

Choosing feels limiting at first, but Amy reminds writers that it’s actually freeing. “You can’t serve everyone. Someone else will serve the other group. There are plenty of writers out there. You just need to know which one you’re called to help.”

Lead Magnets and the Power of the “Painkiller”

At this point in the conversation, Mary K. brought up another crucial piece of the puzzle: lead magnets.

Often, your lead magnet—whether it’s a free guide, quiz, or downloadable PDF—is your reader’s first interaction with your writing. It’s where you show her you see her pain and can help.

Amy agreed. “Your lead magnet should address that felt need—the painkiller,” she said. “It’s the thing that makes your reader feel seen. If you can say, ‘I understand where you’re at, and here’s something to help right now,’ you build trust. Then you can walk her toward deeper transformation.”

Because really, that’s what this is all about. Helping your reader feel seen, understood, and supported as she moves toward growth.

A Simple First Step

If you’re wondering where to start, Amy offers this:

“Ask your readers what frustrates them most. Whether it’s through a survey, a coffee date, or a Zoom call, just ask, ‘If you could have a solution to one thing, what would it be?’ Listen to their answers. Then create something that offers a small but meaningful solution.”

That small act—listening and responding—can clarify your entire message and direction as a writer.

The Encouragement Every Writer Needs

As we wrapped up our conversation, Amy left us with a reminder that captures the heart behind everything she teaches:

“God has given each one of us unique gifts, passions, and experiences that we can glorify Him with. There is a niche that each of us fits into—one that brings us joy and serves someone else. If you’re spinning your wheels trying to reach your readers, speak to their felt needs first. Then lead them to their real needs. That may be the missing piece you’ve been looking for.”

If you’re ready to understand your reader better—without relying on social media—start by asking, “What hurts?” The answer might just unlock your most purposeful writing yet.

This post was reformatted from our original transcript by ChatGPT and edited for accuracy by Mary K.